Oh days like these

In the process of planning this wedding I've had a lot of ups and downs. Moments where I just want to be married, that the wedding itself doesn't even matter, and moments when I can't wait for all my family and friends to be surrounding us on that day. I cannot wait to marry Josh. It sounds mushy and cliche but I never thought I would find someone I would love this much and who would love me regardless. He loves me and my family and supports me in whatever I choose to do. He is my soul mate (yes, another cliche) and I cannot wait to call him my husband.


But lately I've been struggling with being uncontrollably frustrated. I say uncontrollably because I am getting frustrated at things that I don't want to be frustrated with. I'm trying to learn that I can't please everybody, but I still want to. I want everybody to be happy even if that means I sacrifice my own happiness. There is so much going on within the next 8 months that it seems crazy to think that one of those things is my wedding. I am excited and thrilled but yet I have a constant fear that no one will come. I know people will but with being in a completely different state then many of our guests and with the major life changes going on with everyone I fear that our wedding will take the back burner. 

I miss Josh, more then words can describe. I tell him all the time and I worry sometimes that I say it too much. But can you ever really tell someone that you miss them too much? I don't know. There are days where I just want a hug from him so bad. But right now I can't have one and I will just have to wait. At least I am able to talk to him and hear his voice whenever I want (for the most part). It's hard to not really know when I'm going to for sure see him next, but hopefully it's soon. At least he's in the same country right?

Ultimately though Josh and I will be married which is the most important thing. Whether people show up or not, I can't wait to be Mrs. Johnson.

9 months to go.

Tomorrow is August 19th. That means exactly 9 months until I marry my true love and I couldn't be happier. Well that's not true, I could definitely be a little happier today. I have been spoiled the last couple weeks. I've got to spend them all with Josh and that was amazing. But he left to go back to Virginia today and I couldn't go with him. I know it's better this goodbye because unlike the last big goodbye he won't be gone for 6 months and I'll know exactly where he is. But just because of that does not mean it's any easier. I still miss him very much and it still causes me to be emotional.

But on a bright note, while Josh was here we got A LOT accomplished for the wedding! So much that I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess it would just be best to go in chronological order, so I'll start at the beginning. 
The first thing we did while he was here was go cake tasting and man was it good. I found the place a couple months ago. Well actually I found the place in January right after Josh left while starting my wedding research. I was so excited to finally be able to go there and try their different flavors of cake. I'd gone into the bakery before and tried some of their desserts so I knew their cakes would definitely (hopefully) be good! Josh and I decided on 4 different flavors for the cake and we also decided on (well I told Josh what I wanted and he agreed) the look of the cake. 
The second thing we did was go to Mens Wearhouse and finalize the tuxes we wanted. Small detail but a detail that needed to be taken care of none the less. I think all the guys are going to look very handsome and I can't wait.
We also went to Jared's and picked out our wedding bands. I love them both and cannot wait until I am able to wear mine. Josh didn't want to take his off but I forced him too. In 9 months we can wear them for good :).
We were also able to get our Engagement pictures taken while he was here. They all turned out very good and I can't wait to share them with everyone! If the engagement pictures are any indication of what the wedding pictures are going to look like I absolutely cannot wait! 
Last but not least we met with the decorator to finalize our plan. I am so excited with everything that she has come up with. She has definitely done a better job then I would have ever done. She incorporated everything that we talked about plus threw in a couple ideas of her own that I can't wait to see. 
Well I am sure there is a lot more that I can't quite remember. I am tired and slightly emotional, but luckily not as much as I was. I think what I am going to do now is crawl into bed and catch up on some Pretty Little Liars. I still have a lot to do, not just with the wedding but with my life in general. I'm hoping that things continue to go smoothly. Goodnight all :)


Oh and heres a little peek of our pictures :)

It's been a while.

I am currently sitting in the Philadelphia airport waiting for my connecting flight to start boarding (I still have about 45 minutes) and realized I haven't updated in a while. A lot seems to have happened since I last updated, but at the same time none of it has really been on the wedding front.

 

This was probably one of the greatest moments in my life! Six months of separation and I finally got to wrap my arms around him. I didn't want to let go! I missed him so much and I'm so happy to have him home safe! I got to spend 2 full days with him, which was not enough! I am currently on my way back to Virginia Beach so I can spend even more time with him.

When he takes leave in about a week we will be doing more wedding stuff, meaning my updates will become more wedding oriented again. I'm so excited about the cake tasting it's ridiculous. 

Well off to catch my flight. Hope everyone is doing well.

45 Weeks 1 day 15 hours and 22 minutes

Just in case you're wondering, that's approximately how long there is until mine and Josh's wedding (give or take a few minutes). 

However, the more important number right now is 5. There are 5 days until I leave for Virginia Beach. And very soon after that I will get to see Josh. The emotions I am feeling are overwhelming. I am happy, excited, overjoyed, nervous and anxious. It has been 6 months since I've seen Josh and it feels like forever. I am so excited that it's been difficult for me to fall asleep. I am surprised that this has started already but it just means it's getting closer. When I talked to Josh yesterday he also shared some wonderful news. He doesn't have duty the whole time I'm down there. This made me so happy. I don't get that many days with him so the days I do get with him I want to spend every possible minute with him!

There isn't much to update on the wedding front. Three of the bridesmaid dress have come in and the one I saw I absolutely love! The color, which I was nervous about, looks so great! It's not to dark and the dress is so beautiful. When Samantha was down here we were able to go to the bridal store so I could show her my dress and see the two dresses next to each other. They look so good together. They are just similar enough that they don't look out of place.

I will meet with the decorator again after I get back from Virginia. I'm very excited to see what she's come up with.

Well that's all for now. I am excited because my next blog should be after I see my fiance :D

Excitement

<3 I know I'm still young
But, I know how I feel
I might not have too much experience
But, I know when love is real.<3

 It's so close I can feel it. It can't get here quick enough, but the few days I have with him will go by so quickly I won't know what hit me. I can't believe it's already been almost 6 months. Looking back over the months since January it seems to have gone by relatively quickly. In the moment though those months dragged on and I thought they would never end. This deployment was harder then the first. There were longer periods of not hearing from him and more dangerous locations. They were all over the news and I watched with the rest of the country. But it's close now, I will get to see him and hold him and kiss him. I will be so incredibly happy that even him having duty the day they pull back in will not ruin it =).

 As the number of days there are until Josh comes home grows smaller, so does the number of months until our wedding. There is less then 11 months now and it still feels surreal. Maybe it's because Josh hasn't been here to give his opinion on things or for me to be able to take him places and show him, that I feel like I'm a little girl planning my dream wedding when I grow up. However, the deposits that I have put down on things definitely lets me know that it is real :)

Saturday I met with a decorator. The meeting could not have gone better. The lady was so incredibly nice and got exactly what I was trying to portray. She gave me opinions and feedback about how things would look and work, but she didn't try to push me into what she thought was best. She actually liked my ideas.  It was pretty cool because she brought her husband with her and while we discussed the decorations, he took measurements and drew a really accurate scale drawing on graph paper. She's going to draw up a layout and write a list of supplies that we'll need and get back to us. I'm so incredibly excited and I can't wait! I hope it turns out as beautiful as I imagine it. The theme is "A Spring Evening". There's going to be tealight lanterns and paper lanterns and I even want a rod iron bird cage to hold the cards.

As for the wedding party, all the bridesmaid dresses have officially been ordered. It is such a relief  knowing that they won't get discontinued before one of the girls have a chance to order them. The next big thing is getting all the guys measured for their tuxes and getting the groomswoman a dress, even if it's not the same one the girls are wearing. Last but not least is finding the dresses for the flower girls. It will be a little while before they go try those on but it's still very exciting!

Dresses - Check

*SWOOSH*

In case you're wondering that is not a basketball flying through a hoop. That is the sound of the worry and stress of bridesmaid dresses being lifted off my shoulders, finally (only because I don't know what other sound it might make).

It only took a few trips to David's Bridal, the first dress I chose to get discontinued and much frustration with myself trying to figure out what in the world I wanted. But I have finally decided, THANK THE LORD.

My number of bridesmaids are now up to a fantastic five (not to be confused with the fantastic four, they don't have super powers...that I know of). It's pretty cool because my five bridesmaids are all of my girl cousins that are related by blood. I'm very excited and I can't wait for us all to be together. It seems fitting for them all to be bridesmaid because they are honestly the people I'm the closest with.

Saturday I meet with a decorator. I am hoping that 1.) I'll be able to afford her and 2.) That she doesn't try to hijack my ideas and twist them. I guess we will have to wait and see though. So for now I will just gather all my ideas and keep them together to show her.

Progression is the best

Today I paid the deposit to reserve the florist. I ended up choosing Connell's Maple Lee in Grove City and I am very excited. I actually met with the lady there a while back but just hadn't gotten around to going in and reserving it. The lady was so nice and had great ideas, not just because her name also happens to be Jill :). She was the second florist we had met with and definitely the best. The first lady was very full of herself and kept trying to push me the direction she thought I should go. For the most part I know what I want to do and the fact that she wouldn't listen to me just rubbed me wrong. So then we went and met with Jill, who was also less expensive then the other lady (who claimed she'd be the least expensive in town).

The picture above is what I envision for the bridesmaid bouquets. I haven't decided on what colors they're going to be yet, but I'm thinking each girl will have a different color. My bouquet is also going to be Gerber Daisies but it will also have Tulips incorporated and some greenery to add shape. I am very excited about the flowers I think they're going to look fantastic.

This picture is generally what the boutonnieres are going to look like. I'm thinking that the color of the boutonniere on the groomsmen will match whatever color the bridesmaid has he'll be walking with. It should look really good :).

Also, today we went to Springfield and had dinner at Rudy's Smokehouse which is who is catering. I definitely remembered why we chose them, they are delicious. I made a payment on that and was happy to know that the total amount owed is slowly getting smaller. I am so excited to take Josh there, I think he's going to like it. Of course he said that we could have pizza at the reception and he'd be happy, but that is sooooo not going to happen.