Almost
3 months into getting married, I can honestly say I fall more in love with
hubby every day and I really enjoy being married. I was scared before getting
married. I constantly thought, “what if it changes our relationship” or “what
if he doesn’t love me as much as he thought he did.” Well it has changed our
relationship, but for the better. We went from only seeing each other every
couple of months (if we were lucky) to seeing each other every single day! It’s
great. There’s definitely been some adjusting. We’ve had to learn to take each
other into consideration because it’s not just about us individually anymore it’s
about us as a team. I feel funny saying it but I honestly miss him when he goes
to work. I know I’ll see him at the end of the day but those few hours without
him I miss him so much.
Now on
to other things, I’ve gained the “newlywed 10-15”. Now this is probably
something I’m making up, but my mom named it so I’m going with it. I wanted to
lose weight so bad before the wedding and for a while there I was. And then
when I found my dress, I had to maintain my weight so it would fit, which I
did. I wasn’t absolutely happy with my weight but it was ok. But now 3 months
after the wedding I have gained 11 lbs. Needless to say, my self-esteem has
crumbled. I am not happy with my weight. Clothes that I fit into with no
problem last summer are now too tight. And as I’m writing this I’m feeling
pretty low about myself. Hubby and I have been trying to get into a workout
routine. I am trying to push myself to go to the gym at least once a day. Also
we are trying to eat healthier.. I lost 2 lbs. But I seemed to gain it back.
When I go to the gym, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I do at least a
mile on the treadmill and some weights, but I feel like I’m not making any
progress. I’m hoping that my determination pays off and eventually I start
losing weight. I just feel like I’m going nowhere.
As for
the job front….well nothings changed. I’ve
applied for more jobs and have heard nothing from any of them. Oh wait, another
thanks but no thanks. I love hubby so much but I am feeling down about myself.
I’m hoping this is only a phase and that it gets better. I need to start making
friends.. I’m thinking about going to the animal shelter and volunteering.
This
week I’ve been babysitting an adorable 1 yr old. She’s been fairly well behaved
and quite entertaining. Today she’s walking around saying UHOH. And the extra
money is nice too. But it’s only for this week, while my cousin is out of town.
So next week I go back to sitting around the apartment, hoping I get a phone
call.
Ok,
well I feel this post has been thoroughly depressing. But I really needed to
get all that off my chest. I hope my next blog will be more upbeat. I think I’m
going to go to Michael’s or Jo-anns and try to find something to keep me busy.
Til
the next time :)
