Best. Fiance. EVER.

I am sure every girl thinks this about her fiance and I am definitely no exception! I have always felt amazingly lucky to have Josh in my life, but this weekend just proved how great he is.

Yesterday was my 21st birthday and I have been looking forward to it for a while (which I'm sure most people do). When Josh asked the question, "What do you want for your birthday?" back in September I could only think of one thing, to see him! I told him that the only thing I really wanted was for him to be able to take a few days and come see me. Unfortunately, he told me that he had duty on my birthday. There was still a little hope that maybe he could take a few leave days, that was until I had my little emotional breakdown earlier this month. After he took leave earlier this month to come and see me I definitely did not think he would come this weekend...little did I know.

I had come to terms with not being able to see Josh and had made plans with some friends and my parents. I was sad I couldn't see him but had come to terms with it and was going to make the best out of my birthday. However, my dad had been trying to convince me to wait until next weekend (instead of Saturday night) to go out saying, "You'll officially be 21 and won't have any problem getting in anywhere." But I stuck to my guns and made plans anyways.

Friday when I got home from work though, I got a huge birthday surprise...Josh was here!!!!!! I was so incredibly happy and definitely speechless. He parked his car down the street and hid under blankets on the couch. I was oblivious to him being there at first but once I saw him I screamed. I have to say my birthday weekend was definitely amazing and I had a great time!

Saturday we were able to hang out with some of my friends and then Sunday we went to the Rocky Horror show with my parents! It was a blast. I got pulled up on stage and the guy that played Frank N Furter sang "livin la vida birthday" to me while basically giving me lap dance. It was hilarious! Here are some pictures:

Josh and I <3

 Frank N Furter singing to me!

And just in case you're wondering...my dad took video of me getting surprised! Here it is:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!

Anticipation

I can't believe it is Thursday already. I feel like this week, and this month, has flown by so fast. Josh applied for orders earlier this month and we should know the outcome in November. I am excited and nervous all rolled into one. The possibility of living on the other side of the country is a little overwhelming. There is part of me that's scared to be that far away from family but then there is the other part of me that knows if he gets stationed in Washington it will be a great experience. I don't know though. I guess we will see.

On a completely different note, I am linking up once again with Goodnight Moon. I have lately been listening to a lot of Adele. I love her voice. Every time I get in the car I listen to this song, Set Fire to the Rain at least once.

Seriously?

Ok seriously...who pulls a muscle in their back while brushing their teeth?? Yup, THIS GIRL! It feels better then it did this morning, but oh boy I definitely hope it gets wayyy better.

And finally for the first time ever I am linking up with Goodnight Moon and sharing my favorite song this week. This song is not only my favorite this week but one of my all time favorites. In fact it is going to be played at our wedding :)

Addicted to...

In the process of getting more involved in blogging and following more people I have discovered this website. I LOVE IT. Of course to a lot of people this website is nothing new and has probably been a staple to their internet browsing for a while. But for me it is new and amazing. There is so much stuff on it and it is so diverse. 

I am patiently waiting for my invitation to officially be a member of the website, but I'm excited. There is so much inspirational stuff! 

<3

On a completely random note...

"Are you going to school?". I get asked this question a lot. And the answer that I give to everyone is, "not right now. I'm planning a wedding and thinking about what I want to do. I'm hoping after the wedding I'll have a better grasp on what I want to do career wise." But my thinking for that answer is, "Yeah, right." To be honest I don't have the slightest clue what I want to do. I have changed my mind approximately 5 times, if not more, since graduating high school. I have had different choices and some choices I keep going back to. Yes, I know I am only 20 years old so I still have some time. But my thinking is, what if I never decide?

There are two things in life that I'm certain I want to be, a wife and some day down the road a mother. But as for making money who knows? I know that after we're married I am going to get a job. I like staying busy and I also like having my own source of income. I don't like relying on other people. That has always been difficult for me. If I don't have to ask you for anything, chances are I'm not going to.

The one thing I have been contemplating lately is owning my own business. I don't really know why this thought is so appealing to me. Maybe because I like interacting with people and setting my own pace. However, I don't see it happening anytime soon, or ever for that matter. Especially being married to a Military man. Moving constantly would not be conducive to owning my own busy (such as maybe a self-serve Yogurt Shop. Don't ask me why I want to own one of those. I just think it would be cool.). My mom has said I could start my own business online, so that way it would be able to travel with me wherever we went. This would be a fantastic idea, however, I have no clue what kind of business I would start online. I am certainly not a crafty person, so I am thinking making stuff would be out of the question. But there is one thing my mom has mentioned. In the process of planning the wedding I have had a hard time finding a lot of stuff I need. So the only online business idea I could even think of would be something wedding related. Maybe selling things I had a hard time finding. 

But right now I'm not sure. I guess the only thing I can truly say is we will see what the future holds.

Better

This past weekend was fantastic. I was so happy that Josh was able to come up, even if it was only for 2 days. I love when I get to see him. It puts me in such a better mood. We were able to go to a couple stores and do our wedding registry. It was a little overwhelming at first but a lot of fun. We did get a little carried away, but hey why not? There is so much stuff that you don't think about, especially since we're not living together yet. Josh and I kept fighting over who got to control the scanner. I'm glad we got that out of the way. It's another thing I can check off my list.

Since Josh was able to come up this weekend I made myself a promise. I promised myself that after he left this weekend I would try and control my emotions/stress better. I, unfortunately, let myself get to a point where everything was overwhelming. I let little things get to me that should have just rolled off my back and I ended up spazzing out by the end of everyday. I know that I cannot do this anymore. Of course, not seeing Josh is still going to be extremely hard. But I know for my sanity (and his) I need to do this. I need to do better. I need to stop and breathe and just relax. Things will get better. Yes, it does suck that we're not together right now. But in the long run it is all worth it and we will be together.

We have been together 2 years and although I have been through 2 deployments, I consider myself very lucky. I am lucky because Josh will be on shore duty the first 2-3 years of our marriage. I don't have to worry about another deployment for a while and that makes me so happy. I will be use to living on our own before he gets another deployment when and if he re-enlists after this enlistment.

I know that moving away from my family is going to be hard. I am not even going to pretend that I will make an easy transition. But I know Josh will be there to support me and help me through. I guess this is why a large part of me hopes he will get stationed here on the east coast. So we will be closer to our families. But that is not guarantee and I'm not holding my breath. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. I am excited though, for what our life together will bring.

Close to A Standstill

Well I really shouldn't stay standstill. The day is drawing closer, slowly but surely, when I will no longer be Jillian Holdridge (I mean seriously we're just over 7 months away!!!!). But as for planning, or doing anything else big for the wedding, there really hasn't been much. It seems that most everything is done, all that's left is little details here and there. And seriously who would have known that I would have such a hard time deciding on my shoes of all things. Hopefully soon we'll be doing test runs of the favors to make sure what we have planned is going to work right. I am so excited for the favors but I know it's probably not going to be easy, considering we're making them all. I also put a down payment on the wedding cake. When I went in we talked shape and design to make sure we were on the same page. I can't wait to see what it ends up looking like. I've seen their work before (a similar cake included) and I think it's going to be beautiful. We still have yet to fully commit to a Unity Candle. I have such a specific idea in mind for it that I really can't just go to Hobby Lobby or Michaels to buy it. I've been looking on this website Etsy and have, unfortunately, find a couple different ones that both Josh and I like. Making the decision even harder because now we have to choose between them. I feel like it's the little stuff that has been kicking my butt, trying to decide for sure on certain things. I want to be sure of my decision so come wedding day I won't say, "Oh, I wish I would have gone with that instead.". But let's be honest, I don't think I'm going to do that. I know, like so many people have told me, that come the wedding day, nothing else will matter. And I feel this is most certainly true. I think one thing I am truly thankful for though is hiring a decorator. It saves me and my family and friends the stress of having to rush in Saturday morning to decorate and it also saves me the stress of having to buy every little thing and make sure it gets set up properly.

The biggest non-wedding thing happening in the next four months is that Josh will be finding out where he will be stationed come July. For me it is scary and exciting all in one. I have never lived away from my family and just knowing that we could end up on the other side of the country is a very scary feeling. But at the same time I am very excited to start my life with Josh and to be on my own.